Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
