Kiss
Puke
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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