I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
