the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
