quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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