they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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