the condom got lost in my hair
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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