i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
