I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize