can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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