bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
