i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
