Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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