i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
