Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
