I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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