I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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