I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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