is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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