Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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