Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
