glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
