I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
