I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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