I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
