Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
