literally had 100 drinks last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
