We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
