dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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