i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
