he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
