Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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