No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
