Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
