what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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