Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
