I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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