Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
