Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
