That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I will die if light touches me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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