please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
