he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
