So drunk its hurt
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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