no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
