Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So here I am, sexting at work.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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