i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
