We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
