:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
