FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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