pedialite and red bull = repair kit
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
is it fun? or sober?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
