omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
