based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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