Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
