Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
