Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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