just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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