Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
