No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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