Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
