Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
