well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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